Do this, and you’ll be different.
God loves us in a multitude of ways. He is Love Himself, so He’s got the patent on that. For the past year and a half or so, He’s been showing me how He loves me through discipline, namely spiritual disciplines. During this time, I’ve been taking them more seriously, and implementing Bible study, praise and worship, prayer, and most recently, fasting into my routines. They’re a few of the things that draw us nearer to God by learning about Him, what His existence means for our lives, why He created us and what He created us to do, and understanding why He’s worthy of worship, surrender, and authority over us. It can sound kind of overbearing to think of someone disciplining you, but when you understand that it’s out of ultimate, unadulterated, holy love for you, it makes surrender feel safe and worship a natural heart posture.
I started incorporating my first spiritual discipline out of, well… desperation, honestly, although I wish it would have come out of love for Jesus. I needed to hear encouragement, and I needed it spoken over me, I needed to know that I was going to be okay and could get through to the other side of the struggle I was facing. So, I started listening to worship music, which led to singing it, and moments where I would cling to the lyrics as my only source of hope, and begging God to make them true in my life. Little did I know that once I started studying the Bible, I would learn that the lyrics I was singing, thinking, and speaking over myself were the truth. The lyrics came right from scripture. Praise and worship music has different functions and purposes. The main and most important one is to honor and lift God up, recognizing Him as Almighty and Holy. Through this I’m reminded that I’m not in this life alone and without a purpose. I have a creator that was intentional about placing me where I am. It stirs up hope in us to know that we don’t have to have it all figured out, and encourages us to depend on God for the things that we need because He is our provider. It offers a better, and eternal perspective that gives us peace even through the challenges that come with living in a fallen world. It highlights that God has overcome this world, and that in His will is the safest place we can be.
While I would listen to and sing these songs of praise to God, I was struck by the passion and divine devotion I heard. I wanted to understand where it came from, and how people could put into words what God was doing. I couldn’t get enough of what I was hearing and needed more ways of understanding what they meant. In some of the songs, I recognized the lyrics as verbatim scripture, so I started there. It was important for me to know God more to be able to figure out for myself if He was worthy of trust amidst the uncertainty and anxiety I had been going through. I knew I couldn’t trust my feelings or thoughts, so there had to be something external and WAY bigger than my fears. And when I tell you that God showed up, it doesn’t give justice to what I truly experienced. I started reading, and knew that everything that was in it was true. Every part of what I saw in my own life, the consequences of my actions or inactions and what the things I was thinking and feeling were leading to were spot on. This excited me, and also freaked me out. It humbled me to know that God already knew exactly what we would need to be able to endure our struggles, where we would be able to find our joy, and how we could live in a loving relationship with Him every single day on this earth. Evidence had been all over my life that God was there, in control, protecting and providing for me. In giving me His Word, He saved me from myself. He shifted every outlook on life I had, He corrected my thinking, and He led me back to a place of joy and contentment. I’m not just convinced His Word is true, there is living breathing documentation in each one of us that it is so. When you read the word for yourself, put effort into following the ways of God, and watch patiently to see how it plays out in your life, you’ll find that He is without a doubt The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
The result of reading and studying the Word was a lot of feelings: excitement, joy, gratitude, and wonder. I needed some organization to what I was experiencing. I had so many questions, things to thank Him for, and parts I wanted to get a grasp on, so I started writing them out as prayers. Calling it an outline would be a stretch, it was more of a continuous stream of thoughts of awe and curiosity. This is the discipline that hit the closest to home for me. My love for writing started in middle school and accelerated from there. I knew I wanted to be a writer eventually, and when I started with prayers, it wasn’t my intention to share them with anyone. They were just a place where I could think freely, with my God and without judgment. But then I started seeing those prayers being answered, and I started being more intentional in learning about the promises of God and what His plans are for my life. I wanted to be in the word more, to learn how to pray, to know what God does with our prayers, and I wanted to be able to look back on them to see how far God had gotten me. When I finished my first journal, I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but it didn’t feel right to throw or hide it away, so I decided I wanted to keep them for my kids. I want them to see what God does, how He’s done it in my life, and give them hope in their own life’s struggles. I want my prayers to honor God, build my faith, and encourage my soul. No prayer goes unanswered, nor do they fall on deaf ears, and none are wasted. My prayers haven’t always been answered quickly, or in the way I expected (or honestly wanted them to), but I was given what I needed by the God who provides, Jehovah Jireh.
In prayer, my faith has been tested, but when I’ve come face to face with the worries of the world in a different way, I knew I needed to lean on God more than I had been before. As you know if you follow along with thelabl.co’s Instagram, you saw the picture I posted of that sweet little baby. My youngest sister, Cailyn had her first baby, and I became a godmother for the first time!! It’s one of the greatest honors of my life thus far, and I’m so grateful for the gift of his life in our family! Before he was born, Cailyn had been experiencing some difficulties in her pregnancy, such that were believed to be life threatening. She had been confiding in me throughout this time and God worked in our relationship to bring us the closest we’ve been. He had also been putting it on my heart and in my mind to try fasting, which terrified me and exposed idols in my life– food, water, and health. But my sister’s health was up in the air, and she was scared and worried. When she told me, I cried at the thought of not having her with us anymore and of her not being able to raise her son, but the Holy Spirit comforted me so that I didn’t have fear. I could trust that He had a plan and that it was good. What I had read told me that, what I had experienced firsthand told me that, what I had seen in the lives of others told me that, and the Holy Spirit reminded me of that over and over. He prompted me to fast and pray for her in full trust and surrender, with peace that surpasses all understanding and the scripture that I had leaned on the most since starting this journey I was able to live out:
Philippians 4:6-8
Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
In seeking to know God, I know where I can find everything I need. The spiritual disciplines are exactly that. Disciplines. But a disciplined body, heart, and mind is a stronger one. It’s a steadier one. It’s a more peaceful one. They’re practical ways you can seek God. Matthew 6:33 says: Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Because I know God, I know He loves me. And I’m still learning about how deep that love goes. I think I will be all my life. I pray you’ll desire to know how deep His love goes for you.
pssst… it’s endless.
love & be loved,
Ashlyn
